In reality, it’s whatever.
None of my friends have younger siblings that need babysitting. None of them have responsibilities like I do, families like mine. They’re not rich and spoilt, but they’re well off. My family’s not poor, but we do have debt. We do have luxuries, but we don’t have it all. None of them have responsibilities like I do.
Whilst I hate to pity myself, sometimes that’s all I can do.
I hate this feeling. The feeling that all my friends are hanging out with each other and I’m just here at home. That not one invited me when they did, just didn’t tell me who would be there…I declined though. Some of us don’t have money like that. I hate cancelled plans, hate not being able to drive, hate that I live farther from everyone. The feeling of being forgotten.
Loneliness at its finest.
Fuck you for making me feel so shitty. I really hate you right now.
I’m definitely glad we can be friends. But I don’t know if I should keep a slight distance now.
this alcohol and this coffee isn’t a good mix. all the coffee does is make me stay awake and rethink my life. this music doesn’t help either.
I definitely was relieved that we could still be friends. But I’m feeling it now, that sadness. It’s okay/alright/fine. I can deal with it. It’ll just take some time getting used to. It doesn’t help that I always talk to you and now, knowing that I’m on the other side of the country with a 3 hour time difference, I have time to think about things with no one to text.
Maybe it’s these feelings of this weekend in general. Giant snow blizzard back at home that I didn’t get to experience because I flew out just in time to miss it. Maybe it’s also cause I took a couple of shots. My family tho lol. I don’t want to think about it. I should.
Right now it’s like being lonely at a good party; my cousin is currently DJing (he’s really good) and I’m just the lonely one sitting there on their phone. I’m not though. While I could definitely get used to this Cali life, I definitely miss my friends back at home. My friends are my family at school, who else could they be? It’s one weekend, I haven’t seen them for 2 days but I already miss them.
What a strange feeling.
It hasn’t been any time yet I feel this yearning to see them again. When did I start to get soft? Why did I…
Maybe it’s just part of life. I don’t know. What is this nonsense though.
No, that night did not make me like you, that night made me reevaluate liking you.
You couldn’t protect the people you love, but you protected the people who love you.
No. No! You do not get to judge me like that. That was unfair and uncalled for.
It’s really not a big deal but you kept making it like it was. Sigh. If I didn’t act weird, if I just sat next to them, spoke to them. Why do I let you influence me so much? Why.
But it’s also my fault.
why do I feel so shitty
I know you mean well, but things are just even worse now.
I don’t think you know how happy it makes me when I’m one of the people you confide personal things to.
