it's just a feeling

my thoughts blog

it also sucks liking someone
like what if they don’t like me back
and I’m just crushed
left broken until I can pick myself up again
to become whole enough for the next crush
to repeat a never broken cycle

maybe I need to find that one

why is liking someone so nice
such a feel-good mood

As petty as these problems seem, or unimportant, I’ll still come out better.

feel like rain

why do I feel so sad
I spent my time with my friends today
I got to hang out with my current crush
I had a great day
but why
why do I feel like I missed out on something
or that I’m all alone
my wisdom teeth are in the final stages of healing so I can finally eat normally
there’s so much to think about
but I can only think of nothing
why do I feel so empty right now
school isn’t stressing me out yet
roommates haven’t done anything today that’s bothersome
yesterday they did, but that’s passed
sometimes it’s like I didn’t do anything all day
maybe that notion of nothingness is daunting
or maybe I did so much I can’t wrap my head around it
why do I feel like rain

This feeling makes me feel like a kid who’s not getting what they want.
Childish and saddening.

I need to stop.

it really sucks how underprepared I feel for school because my mum wasn’t home so I wasn’t able to get everything. my stepdad is busy working. ugh

I kind of miss talking to you, but at the same time I don’t.
I know you’re busy with finals but I wanna talk :(
I’ll be up at school soon though.

I’ve been telling myself that I shouldn’t fall too hard, but why do we never listen to ourselves

I want to talk to you but you’re probably busy with classes since it’s the last week of the session and you have more to study for.

But I can’t help it.

I want to talk to you.

are these signs that I like you…

I can’t get you out of my head.

out of sight out of mind
but you’re always in sight

absence makes the heart grow fonder
we barely hung out, this shouldn’t apply

Like all children, adopted or not, I have had to live out some of her unlived life. We do that for our parents - we don’t really have any choice.

Jeanette Winterson

Chapter 1: The Wrong Crib, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?